Domestic Violence Safety Guide: Your Path to Protection and Empowerment
You deserve to live free from fear, control, and violence. This comprehensive guide provides critical information, resources, and actionable steps to help you protect yourself and your loved ones. Whether you're seeking immediate help or planning for long-term safety, know that you are not alone—support is available, and healing is possible.
Immediate Help Is Here — You Are Not Alone
24/7 Hotline
Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) for confidential support from trained advocates who understand your situation.
Text & Chat
Text START to 88788 or visit thehotline.org to chat online. Connect discreetly from any device, anytime you need support.
Emergency Services
If you are in immediate danger, call 911 right away. Your safety is the top priority—don't hesitate to seek emergency help.
Crisis support is available in over 200 languages. Advocates can help you assess your situation, create a safety plan, connect with local resources, and explore your options—all without judgment. Every call is confidential and free.
Recognizing Abuse: More Than Physical Harm
Domestic violence takes many forms beyond physical assault. Understanding the full spectrum of abusive behaviors is crucial for recognizing danger and seeking help. Abuse is about power and control, and it often escalates over time.
Trust your instincts. If you feel afraid, controlled, or constantly criticized in your relationship, these feelings are valid and may indicate abuse.
1
Emotional Abuse
Insults, humiliation, constant criticism, gaslighting, and making you doubt your reality or self-worth.
2
Financial Control
Restricting access to money, preventing employment, controlling all finances, or creating debt in your name.
3
Isolation Tactics
Separating you from friends, family, work, or support systems to increase dependence and control.
4
Intimidation & Threats
Using looks, actions, gestures, or threats against you, children, pets, or property to instill fear.
5
Sexual Coercion
Forcing or pressuring sexual acts, treating you as a sexual object, or disregarding your consent.
Creating Your Personalized Safety Plan
A safety plan is a practical, personalized strategy to protect yourself and increase your options during dangerous situations. Planning ahead can save your life, whether you choose to stay, leave, or have already left an abusive relationship.
01
Identify Safe Spaces
Choose rooms with exits and without weapons. Know which doors, windows, or elevators offer the quickest escape routes.
02
Pack Emergency Bag
Keep a hidden bag with IDs, birth certificates, money, medications, extra keys, important documents, and a change of clothes.
03
Establish Code Words
Create specific words or phrases to alert trusted friends or family that you need immediate help without raising suspicion.
04
Memorize Key Numbers
Know by heart the numbers for the hotline, local shelter, trusted contacts, and where you can go in an emergency.
05
Review Regularly
Update your plan as circumstances change. Share relevant portions with people you trust who can support you.
Protecting Your Privacy and Digital Safety
Abusers often use technology to monitor, control, or harass their partners. Digital safety is a critical component of your overall protection strategy. Take proactive steps to secure your communications and maintain privacy.
Privacy Protection Strategies
  • Make calls when running water, using appliances, or outside where conversations cannot be overheard
  • Clear browser history, cookies, and search data regularly on all devices you use
  • Be aware of tracking apps, spyware, or shared accounts that may monitor your activity
  • Use secure messaging apps and create new email accounts abusers don't know about
  • Turn off location services and check device settings for hidden tracking features

Safety First: If you believe your devices are monitored, use a trusted friend's phone or public computer at a library to access resources and make plans safely.
Safety Tips While Still in the Relationship
Many survivors remain in abusive relationships for complex reasons including financial dependence, children, fear, or love. If you are not ready or able to leave, there are strategies to increase your safety while navigating this difficult situation.
Regular Check-Ins
Establish routine contact with trusted friends or family who will notice if something is wrong and can check on your wellbeing.
Avoid Isolated Areas
During conflicts, try to stay in rooms with exits and away from kitchens, bathrooms, or spaces with potential weapons.
Keep Phone Accessible
Always have your phone charged and accessible so you can call for help quickly if needed. Consider a backup device.
Inform Your Workplace
Alert your employer, security, or HR about your situation so they can help keep you safe and support necessary absences.
Document incidents when safe to do so—take photos of injuries, save threatening messages, and keep a journal with dates and details. This evidence may be valuable for legal protection or custody matters later.
Planning to Leave: Preparing for the Most Dangerous Time
Leaving an abusive relationship is often the most dangerous time. The risk of violence increases significantly when an abuser senses loss of control. Careful, confidential planning is essential for your safety and successful transition to independence.
Contact local domestic violence organizations well before you plan to leave. They can provide shelter information, legal advocacy, safety planning assistance, and support throughout the process.
Gather Essential Documents
Collect IDs, social security cards, birth certificates, financial records, lease/mortgage papers, medical records, and legal documents. Store copies securely outside the home.
Secure Safe Housing
Research shelters, transitional housing, or safe stays with friends/family where the abuser cannot find you. Keep this location absolutely confidential.
Explore Legal Protections
Consult with advocates about protection orders, custody arrangements, and your legal rights. Many organizations offer free legal assistance.
Change Routines Post-Departure
After leaving, change locks, vary your routes, alert neighbors and coworkers, and obtain new phone numbers and accounts as needed for safety.
Supporting Children's Safety and Well-being
Children exposed to domestic violence need special attention and protection. Even when not directly harmed, witnessing abuse can have serious emotional and developmental impacts. Prioritizing their safety and wellbeing is crucial during and after an abusive relationship.
Teach Safety Skills
Show children safe places to go in your home during conflicts. Teach them how and when to call 911, including what information to provide. Practice together.
Provide Reassurance
Repeatedly tell children that the violence is not their fault. They are not responsible for the abuse or for stopping it—that's an adult responsibility.
Build Support Network
Share appropriate portions of your safety plan with schools, daycare providers, and trusted adults. Inform them who is allowed to pick up children.
Consider age-appropriate counseling or support groups for children who have witnessed violence. Many communities offer specialized programs to help children process their experiences and develop healthy coping strategies.
Maintain routines and stability as much as possible. Children thrive on predictability, and normal activities can provide comfort and security during difficult transitions.
Resources and Support Networks
You don't have to navigate this journey alone. A nationwide network of advocates, counselors, legal professionals, and survivors stands ready to support you with compassion, expertise, and understanding. All services are confidential and free.
National DV Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (7233) — Available 24/7 for crisis intervention, safety planning, information, and referrals. Text START to 88788 or chat at thehotline.org.
StrongHearts Hotline
1-844-762-8483 — Specialized support for Native American survivors, honoring cultural values. Monday-Friday, 7am-10pm CST.
Deaf Hotline
Video phone: 1-855-812-1001 — Accessible services for Deaf, DeafBlind, and Hard of Hearing survivors in ASL.
Teen Dating Abuse
1-866-331-9474 — Support specifically for young people experiencing dating violence. Text LOVEIS to 22522 for help.
Local Shelters
Emergency housing, meals, clothing, childcare, and comprehensive services. Contact the hotline for confidential referrals in your area.
Legal Aid Services
Free legal representation for protection orders, custody, divorce, housing, and immigration matters. Advocates can navigate the system with you.
Many communities also offer support groups, counseling services, job training programs, and financial assistance specifically for domestic violence survivors. The National Hotline can connect you with local resources tailored to your unique needs and circumstances.
Take the Next Step: Empower Yourself and Others
You Deserve Freedom and Safety
No one deserves to live in fear, isolation, or pain. Abuse is never your fault, and you have the right to a life filled with respect, dignity, and peace. Taking the first step toward safety requires courage—courage you already possess.
Help is available right now. Trained advocates understand what you're going through and can provide confidential, compassionate support without judgment. Whether you're ready to leave, need someone to talk to, or are just exploring your options, reaching out is a sign of strength.
Reach Out Today
Call 1-800-799-7233, text START to 88788, or chat online 24/7. Your conversation is confidential and free.
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Believe in Healing
Recovery is possible. Thousands of survivors have rebuilt their lives with support—you can too. Hope is real.
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